Thursday, July 19, 2012
Last night I was thinking about my children's well checkups that were today and was excited to find out how much they weigh. I held a sleeping Dylan for quite a while at church and boy is he heavy! Anyway, my mind wandered and I remembered Dale mentioning that he would like to know every so often how much his children weigh, but we don't have a bathroom scale.
Why don't we have a scale? Well, actually, we do, but the battery went dead and we did not replace it because it was just too much of a temptation for me. But for many years before that, we went without one. Why, because I simply could not deal with it. At some point in high school, I discovered the scale, calories, fat, measuring tapes, dieting and the stress that comes along with all of that. This battle continued throughout college and into my early married years. In college I was on the cheerleading team and powerlifting team. Both of these activities just contributed to the torment I dealt with concerning my weight. I remember one day after Dale and I had married that my dad knocked on my door. Mom had sent him to get my scale and my measuring tape (one of those soft ones used for sewing). I needed those items gone to help me be free.
Praise God that he kept me from being anorexic or bulimic, but I definitely suffered with a "disease" that controlled much of my thought life. I was constantly on a diet of some kind, always thinking about what I ate, how much I weighed, how many inches my waist measured, and comparing myself to everyone around me. (Well, not everyone, just those that I felt looked better than I did. This is a terrible thing to do.)
In the midst of this battle, God spoke to me and said that if I would give this to Him, He would take care of my weight. And, praise Him, He did! It wasn't as simple as me simply admitting I had a problem and asking God to deliver me. God gave me some instructions. I had to....
1) Get rid of my bathroom scale and measuring tape.
2) Not go on any diets.
3) Not look at the nutrition labels on the food.
As I did these things, my weight stayed very consistent and that's even after two babies. However, these guidelines (except number 3) are still things that I feel God wants me to continue in my life. It has been several years since God set me free, but this is a weak area of mine. I dieted for so many years and was so tormented. There are days that I "feel fat", but it's nothing compared to how I used to be. I have a particular pair of dress pants that God lets me use to "measure" myself. If these pants seem a little tighter than they should be, then I stop snacking at night and maybe reduce my food intake a little to slowly lose the extra weight.
God cares so much for each one of us. Many probably struggle in this area as I did. I know that He would love for you to be free too! Don't be afraid to ask God for help! He even cares about how much you weigh and doesn't want it to be a burden to you.
But, when you give a burden to God, make sure that you listen to hear what He would have you do. I strongly believe that the only reason that I was set free was that I did what He asked me to do. It was a strong conviction to do the three things I listed above.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:22