I used to lose it every single day and often every few hours or so it seemed. Over the past year, the Lord has changed me (and still is, praise God!). But, on occasion, I lose it! Friday, Saturday, and today, nothing seemed to go as planned. We had unexpected difficulties getting groceries, a couple unexpected drop ins on Saturday, an extra shift at work for Dale and a birthday party right after church this morning. While we were at the birthday party, Dylan (my 2 year old), accidentally peed on me while he was using the toilet. Anyway, when we finally arrived home today, both of my kids wanted to play outside. I stayed outside to watch them while Dale went in to take a nap.
I asked the kids if they were ready to go inside and of course they said no. I greatly desired to go in the house and do some house work. Well, we stayed outside. Dylan then had a potty accident. As I was helping him take off his clothes, I lost it. I complained that the kids had stayed outside too long (but I permitted it), I was mad that they had mud on their shoes (but I didn't make them change into their old shoes when we got home) and just irritated in general. After awhile, I gained control of my mouth and apologized to my little sweethearts explaining that mommy should have made them come inside earlier knowing that I needed some time in the house.
In the past, I would have "fits" like this and had a difficult time stopping and didn't understand why I was so upset. However, the Lord has revealed to me that I am in charge of my life. I can decline invitations if I need to in order to keep my peace. Just because someone suggests I go somewhere, does not mean that I have to attend. Being a mommy has helped open up my eyes to this problem area in my life. Many times, I let the kids do something because they insist and then I am frustrated afterwards because I really needed to do something different in order to keep my sanity (or peace). Knowing why I got upset, makes it a lot easier to calm down and to make better decisions in the future. I praise God that although I lost it today, He is setting me free by revealing the truth as to why I "lose" it sometimes.
Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32